I am a jewel thief. That is what I am. If I could steal the stars, I would. Look at me, dressed in black, leaping from roof to roof. It is a romantic thing to break into forbidden places. Do you judge me? Don’t be bourgeois. It is thrilling to make off with glittering beautiful things, and then pretend innocence to the world. At night, I inspect my stash. I am secretly rich. I am an artist.